This Has GOT to Stop

Well, you can see that more than a month ago I was terribly discouraged about my weight. If you were here right now, you could also see that I still haven't done anything about it. I've piddled around for a day or three at a time on WW but haven't gotten 'IN THE ZONE' like I was last time. I absolutely HAVE to get there again.

I tried to run tonight. It was horrible. It was as if I hadn't exercised in the last six months. Hmmm.....maybe that's because I HAVEN'T. AAAAAAAARRRRGhhhhhh.

So here I am, fatter than a house, starting all over again.

I did one thing right this week. I went out and stocked the fridge with good food. Good food meaning food that I love that is also great for me......fresh spinach, baby greens, lowfat/lowsugar dressings, fresh fruits and veggies, salmon, etc. Unfortunately, while son's girlfriend was visiting, I ALSO made two huge pans of brownies and I think I ate half of them myself along with ice cream and hot fudge.

But I'm here, confessing my transgressions and hoping to get motivated to once again squash the sugar beast that is obviously alive and well in me.

I need to post my menus for a while. Sorry to bore you with it but I have to be accountable even if it's just to a blog.

A Cellulite Cinquain

fat

globular, squishy

disfiguring, discouraging, persisting

a real joy-killer

corpulence

Well, isn't THAT special?

After my blissful discovery yestermorn, I finished off the remaining pots & pans in the kitchen and loaded the last couple things into the dishwasher. I put in the detergent, pushed the button, and........................................nothing. Well, almost nothing. It buzzed. No water. No cleaning. Bummer.

Normally it would be just a matter of replacing the dw. However, we are still in the middle of replacing floors and cabinets and we are the ones doing the work. Since Jim is working 60-90 hr. weeks minimum these days, the kitchen is low on our priority list. We can't replace the DW without replacing the floor, the cabinets, and the countertop....our new floor will be slightly higher than the current floor. Anyway, I am not averse to washing the dishes the good old fashioned way. Good thing, huh?

You will be happy to know that I was a good little girl today. My big 'cheat' being tasting a sample at Sam's club. I actually had an all-vegetable/low-fat dinner AND I enjoyed it! Watch out weight-loss world!

Mrs. Charged Up About Losing the Rest of the Weight

Yeah. Finally. November 1st. A new start. It's only 1:30 and candy withdrawal has hit big time. I am actually encouraged because I'm not giving in. I must be entering 'THE ZONE'!

This morning was an encouraging morning.....I went to bed with the house a total wreck, dishes in the sink & on the table, papers everywhere, etc. This morning I woke up to a clean kitchen, and a straightened family room. "Which of my sons has pleased me greatly?", I bellowed up the stairs. My soon-to-be 18-year-old was the clandestine cleaning crew. How awesome was that?

After waking up to that, I am sure that ANYTHING is possible today, including sticking to my former healthy habits. So watch out. I am back. I am unbeatable. I am Mrs. Charged Up about Losing the Rest of the Weight.

Creamed corn, Pineapple & Canned Clams

I pride myself on being able to walk over to the pantry, peruse the shelves, mull over the possibilities, and come up with a tasty dinner out of what happened to be left on the shelf, regardless of what's there.

Not today. Any combination of the three aforementioned items would induce vomiting. I guess it must be time to go grocery shopping.

On the weight-loss front, I have to get my groove back. If this keeps up, I will have to merge the running and weight-loss blogs into one and call it Running out of Pathetic Excuses. It's cold out. I want comfort food. There's nothing in the pantry except the slop I mentioned in the title. I don't feel like shopping. I'm whining.

One of those days. Sorry. Hopefully I'll be 'Mrs. Charged Up About Losing the Rest of the Weight' tomorrow.

Until then,
Karen (the reigning 'Mrs. Sit-on-my-Duff & Eat Junk Food'

You're IT!

I have been tagged for this meme on my other neglected blog some time ago and if you want to read those, go here. However, since it's been a while, I'll come up with six new random things about me.

1) I love to cook. If I didn't have any other responsibilities and if I didn't have to worry about who likes/doesn't like whatever....I would sit around and cook fab food all day. Right now, of the three children still remaining at home, one is a vegetarian who despises anything with even a hint of vinegar in it, one is 17, hates most vegetables and is rarely home at dinner-time (works in a restaurant making pizza dough, among other things), the last is 7 years old and not a very adventurous eater. Jim and I love food but have to watch our caloric intake which certainly limits the scope (and FUN)of my cooking,

2) I love writing. I've always wanted to write copy for an ad agency or something. That is, until my husband worked at an ad agency and I saw what a sleezy, disgusting business it is run by complete dirtbags. (no, Karen, tell us how you really feel!) Now I have a creative outlet. I will be creating custom invitations in my friend's store.

3) Tea. I love it. I have always loved it. I will continue to love it. Red and yellow, black and white.....all are precious in my sight. Herbal, Rooibos, you name it. Before bed every night, Jim and I share a huge pot of Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime. Bury me with my teapot. Please.

4) Fall is my favorite season. Apple pie. Hot soup on cold days. Breathtaking colors and incredible smells. Inexpensive school supplies. Exercise without sweat. Need I say more.

5) I am actually somewhat musical although nobody that knows me now would ever know that.

6) I am a walking disorganized mess.

In a Holding Pattern

I'm not too concerned about it, but I am big-time stuck, weight-wise. I am doing push-ups, running (17 miles last week), doing ab workouts, and being smart about what I eat. My body is changing for the better but the scale doesn't show it.

I'm not all worked up about it though....which is a huge change for me. I can't obsess about what I am unable to change. I've talked to many other folks doing marathon or 1/2 marathon training and they stopped losing weight as well.

I just wish I'd hit the '50 pounds lost' mark. It's only about 4 pounds away but as elusive as Big Foot. In the meantime, I'll keep on doing what I'm doing and let Him take care of the rest. I'm obviously not in control here :-)

Too Much of a Good Thing

I'm happy to report that I haven't gotten crazy since the end of OFNM (Operation Fat No More - for those of you that weren't a part of that). I've spent a week not counting points but still eating very carefully, except......

.....I have this addiction. I think I made a huge mistake buying an enormous bag of roasted almonds on sale at the grocery store last week. I know they're very good for me but I'm having a tough time staying out of them. Last night I finally had to hand the bag to Jim and tell him not to let me even look at them. I know what I'm capable of.

The other thing I just could eat a ton of is the all-natural, crunchy peanut butter. You know, the stuff that is just crushed peanuts. No salt, sugar, or hydrogenated whatever-they-happen-to-throw-in-this-time. That stuff is SO good. The creamy version you can get away with one TBS on a PBJ because it spreads further, but I get a little crazy with the crunchy.

I suppose as food vices go, I've seen (and eaten) much worse.

My weight is pretty much staying the same. I'm okay with that for now. I'm trying to just keep eating right and keeping up with my exercise. The rest is out of my hands.

One Down, One to Go!

Well, the first of two big graduation parties happened last night. I was so excited when I got in the food line and the first two things I encountered were a bowl of plain, fresh fruit and a wonderful mixed green salad with dressing on the side. Ah, what a relief. I didn't have to blow a lot of points. There was also lasagna. I had a miniscule piece. It was very saucy with little cheese so it didn't do too much point damage. I also treated myself to a very small rice krispy treat with a cup of black coffee. Whew!

The next one is Sunday. It should be a little more difficult to navigate, foodwise. That's okay. I'm prepared to use my final cheat day for it. I might not need to as I will be running tomorrow (4 extra points) and I still have a bunch of 'weeklies' left. I just don't want to starve on Monday and Tuesday. We'll see how it goes. I just know that this same family had the most incredible food at their other son's grad party last year.....I don't know that I'll WANT to resist.

Long Time, No Post

I can't believe how long it's been since I posted. Last week I had another two-pound loss. This week I gained it back. Not sure what that's all about. I've been very faithful to both Weight Watchers and my marathon training. I look better and feel better, though, so I guess that's what matters. I had my first June cheat day on Sunday but usually that doesn't hurt me, weight-wise. I probably will have to have my other cheat day on Sunday. Major graduation party with lots of incredible food.

I've been Wii-ing a lot lately and having a riot! I love the Wii Fit! ....even if it does call me names(like couch potato) and mock me when I can't complete a pushup. ("C'mon! Those muscles aren't going to work themselves, you know"). Oh, thank you Mr. Virtual Trainer. Anyway....I am so spastic when it comes to some of the balance games like crossing the tightrope. My 6-year-old practically runs across. I've made it only ONCE! I'll stick to the ski jumping for now...since that's the only game in which I can kick everyone else's keister!

I suppose I shouldn't worry about the weight for now. If it's true that a woman's body thinks it's starving to death during the first 30 minutes of exercise, then the marathon training should help whittle the weight away. Until now, all the runs have been thirty minutes or less. Come June 30th, NONE of the runs will be less than thirty minutes, which is both exciting and terrifying.

I'm off to abuse myself just a little more with the Wii Fit......

Have a good weekend!

First, the Good News!

I lost another TWO pounds this week. For this, I am grateful. Extremely grateful. However, I logged on to the Weight Watchers site and fed them said weight loss information. Guess what else I lost? Another two daily points!!! Unfair! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Twenty daily points???? I'll starve to death, I tell you!

I better go eat some broccoli and simmer down.

Ceremonial Jean-Cutting

It looks as if the change in routine has worked. For the last week and a half I've tried to eat all of my daily, weekly, and activity points . I finally am seeing it register on that wicked scale!



I hereby declare next Wednesday to be:

Cut Up the Too-Large Jeans for a Sewing Project Day

It's not that I've lost all that much, it's just that I've been hovering on the brink of a lower jean size for months and these last couple pounds FINALLY enabled me to buy the NEXT SIZE DOWN! Wahoo!

Hmmmm. Maybe I should have refrained from moronic behavior like skimping on points in the first place. Maybe I should have used the program like it's supposed to be used. Maybe my body just decided to cooperate. Maybe running is the secret. Maybe I don't really care, I'm just excited that whatever the combination is, it's beginning to work. Maybe my body reacts well to deliciously over-the-top cheat days like the one I had last weekend.

Untitled Boring Post

My Wii Fit shipped yesterday! I can't wait. This will give me a slow start into some cross-training by getting me started doing something on my non-running days. Yeah, I know it's not exactly step aerobics or power-lifting but it's a start.

I'm going to try to eat every single one of my points this week again, but spread them out over the week so I'm not eating this HUGE amount on the last day of my WW week.

Wednesday:


Morning
1 Tbsp peanut butter
2
1 sl df ww bread
1
yo plus yogurt
2
Subtotal
5
Midday
lo-fat ramen w/ broc/carrots added
5
Subtotal
5
Evening
1 item refrigerated grilled chicken breast fillet
3
1 cup cooked bulgur
2
1 cup cabbage, all varieties
0
2 Tbsp Kraft Light Done Right Asian toasted sesame
1
1 small carrot(s)
0
1/2 large jalapeno pepper(s)
0
Subtotal
6
Snack
1 item McDonald's® Hamburger (yeah, that's right. FAST FOOD. How low can I go?)
6
fiber one yogurt
1
1 tbs pb on df ww bread (1 sl)
3
Subtotal
10
Total Food POINTS values used
26
Food POINTS Balance over (-) under (+)
-4
Exercise
20 min jogging
2
10 min walking, brisk
0
Total Activity POINTS values earned
2

Changin' it Up!

I thought I'd try something a little bit different this week. Since I'm not losing any weight at this point, regardless of sticking to the plan like aphids on roses, I decided I needed to switch something up. I usually barely dip into my weekly points and sometimes even leave my activity points unused. I thought I might try eating as many of my weekly points as I could. I ate all but 3.5 this week. It's tough but somebody's got to do it! For the record, I didn't eat a lot of garbage in order to do this. Yeah, I snuck a bratwurst in there but other than that, I ate good stuff for the most part.

All of this resulted in..............................................................absolutely no loss. Surprise, surprise. Then again, I ate most of those extra points yesterday so I will weigh myself again tomorrow and see if it's made a difference. In the meantime, I've started reading a book called, From Belly Fat to Belly Flat. Has anyone heard of it? I've got to do a little internet research on the author to determine the 'quack level' of the author. From what I'm reading so far, the book makes sense but I'm a skeptic in all things health/diet related. It got decent reviews at Amazon but I haven't done much googling on him or his plan yet.

One Sick Puppy

I am ashamed to report to you that I jumped on the scale BOTH yesterday morning and today. How warped am I?

I can't believe I haven't posted since Wednesday. Things have been going well point-wise, however I felt like I was eating almost nothing yet I was eating all my points and dipping into my weeklies. I decided to take a look at what I've been doing that could have possibly made me feel this way. Aha! Somehow I stopped eating big platefuls of vegetables and didn't even notice. Weird, I know. So the first thing I did was fix myself a pile of broccoli last night. Tonight I had a big sweet potato and fresh green beans for dinner and it was great!

Hopefully getting back on track with the vegetables and fruits will keep me from feeling like I'm barely eating. I also need the iron & calcium that some of those things provide, especially while I'm taxing my muscles and skeletal system with getting in shape.

Sunday:
Morning
fiber one yogurt
1
pf ww mini bagel
1
Subtotal
2
Midday
2 large whole poached egg(s)
4
2 slice rye bread
3
3 oz center slice ham, lean only
4
Subtotal
11
Evening
1 large cooked sweet potato
3
1 cup cooked green beans
0
Subtotal
3
Snack
fiber one yogurt
1
short starbucks skinny latte
1
pbj on ww mini bagel
3
Subtotal
5
Total Food POINTS values used
21
Food POINTS Balance over (-) under (+)
+1
Exercise
10 min swimming, fast
1
20 min jogging
2
10 min walking, brisk
0
Total Activity POINTS values earned
3
Addendum: After I posted last night, I ate a no-bake cookie (4 pts) and a slice of bacon (1.5 pts), This used up the daily point I had left as well as my earned activity points. It dipped .5 points into my weeklies. Occasionally I forget to post these additions to the blog, but I always post them immediately to my WW log so I don't miss anything and it keeps an accurate tally.

The Trial Separation

Proverbs 26:11As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

I knew the relationship was becoming very dysfunctional but I didn't care. The emotional battering was overwhelming but still I stayed. Now I'm stronger. It's time to end this abusive relationship and take control. I'll need your support for this. This day I declare my independence from that stupid scale.


No more middle of the night weigh-ins. Last night I actually weighed myself three times between 11:00 pm and 6:00 am. I've weighed myself twice since I got up two hours ago. While I think it's a good thing to keep tabs on my weight, this has gotten way out of control. I'm already doing everything humanly possible to safely & gradually lose weight. I don't eat junk food. I rarely eat refined carbs. I love my veggies. I'm RUNNING(if you knew me you would know how drastic THAT little measure was!) and getting as much physical activity as possible. The rest is in the Lord's hands. I can do what He's given me the ability to do and the results have to be left with Him.


In order to turn my relationship with the scale back into a healthy one, I'm limiting our 'visits' to once a week on Wednesdays for my Weight Watcher weigh-in. While I'm in the process of building muscle with all this running, the scale always discourages me. I'm not losing weight right now but my body is changing and shifting in the ways that it should. Why do I want to get hung up on a number that really isn't going to do anything but set me back?

Here's the scoop on what I ate yesterday:

Morning
1 Tbsp peanut butter
2
pf ww mini bagel
1
Subtotal
3
Midday
15 items Tostitos Baked! Scoops tortilla chips
2
1/2 cup salsa
0
fiber one yogurt
1
sample fiber one caramel del cereal
3
Subtotal
6
Evening
1/3 cup Fantastic World Foods Jasmine Rice
4
1 serving stir fry 5/12/08
5
Subtotal
9
Snack
fiber one yogurt
1
pf ww mini bagel
1
yo plus yogurt
2
Subtotal
4
Total Food POINTS values used
22
Food POINTS Balance over (-) under (+)
0
Exercise
20 min jogging
2
20 min walking, brisk
1
Total Activity POINTS values earned
3

Almost forgot to post this:

Morning
fiber one yogurt
1
pfww mini bagel
1
Subtotal
2
Midday
1 cup canned ready-to-serve chunky chicken soup
4
1 Tbsp peanut butter
2
pf ww mini bagel
1
Subtotal
7
Evening
1 cup cooked brown rice
4
1/2 cup generic special K
1
fiber one 4 oz yogurt
1
1 serving stir fry 5/12/08
5
Subtotal
11
Snack
1 small apple(s)
1
2 Tbsp peanut butter
4.5
pf ww mini bagel
1
Subtotal
6.5
Total Food POINTS values used
26.5
Food POINTS Balance over (-) under (+)
-4.5


11 weekly points left

Happy Mother's Day!

My family celebrated Mother's Day on Thursday due to kids' work schedules. Today Jim and I ended up in a bookstore (nothing new there). I decided to sacrifice a half-day's worth of points for a 16 oz coffee beverage. There's something sick about ordering a javalicious mocha crunch whatever it was and then asking the server for the nutrition information. I got the total calories, fat grams, and fiber content and went to log it onto Weight Watchers. It was a whopping TEN points even though I opted for no whipped cream. I tell you, it was worth every crunchy, sweet, iced strawful. I've been smiling ever since.

Since I opted to eat dinner as well, it used up a chunk of my weekly points and I don't even care. I wasn't out of control. I made a conscious decision and don't regret it. So there.

Here are the rest of my choices for the day:


Morning
2 large whole poached egg(s)
4
2 slice rye bread
3
3 oz center slice ham, lean only
4
Subtotal
11
Midday
seattle's best iced coffee drink
10
Subtotal
10
Evening
3 cup canned ready-to-serve chunky chicken noodle soup (This was actually homemade soup made yesterday and the fat was skimmed off while cold--it was similar in chunkiness to the canned stuff so it was a good comparison. I also threw a handful of fresh spinach in when I reheated it. Mmmmmm! Good!
11
Subtotal
11
Snack
crust from 1 lg pizza sl.
4
Subtotal
4
Total Food POINTS values used
36
Food POINTS Balance over (-) under (+)
-14
Exercise (haven't logged it yet because we haven't run yet today)
I have 13.5 weekly points left (I'll have 2 more if we actually finish our run--it's pouring out now so I'm not hopeful)

Quick Post Before I Go to Sleep

Here's today's foods...just so I don't forget to post it tomorrow.


Morning
1 large carrot(s)
0
1 Tbsp peanut butter
2
1 sl df ww toast
1
Subtotal
3
Midday
1 serving lunch 5/9/08 (see last post)
4
Subtotal
4
Evening
1/4 pound cooked ground beef
5.5
1/8 cup onion(s)
0
1 Tbsp ketchup
.5
1 tsp mustard
0
1 sl df ww bread
1
Subtotal
7
Snack
4 items graham cracker(s)
2.5
15 items Tostitos Baked! Scoops tortilla chips
2
1/2 cup salsa
0
1 item refrigerated grilled chicken breast fillet
3
fiber one yogurt
1
Subtotal
8.5
Total Food POINTS values used
22.5
Food POINTS Balance over (-) under (+)
-0.5
Exercise
20 min walking, brisk
1
10 min jogging (this was actually 15 min of running, 15 walking but WW doesn't let you log in 5 minute increments)
1
Total Activity POINTS values earned
2

Making Healthy Eating Convenient

I just had the BEST lunch. It was possible because I've got my kitchen stocked for success. I have almost every fresh vegetable you could imagine in the fridge and a variety of lower fat meats and fish in the freezer. I grilled some chicken the other night for whenever we need it.

Today I pulled out about a half cup of frozen shrimp, snow peas, fresh ginger, garlic, mushrooms, onions, peppers, and zucchini. I stir-'fried' it in my non-stick wok (that I leave on the stove 24-7) and finished it with a squeeze of fresh lime juice, soy sauce, and some mahvelously pungent cilantro. Oh my. A treat for the eyes, the nose, and my stomach. No fat, no sugar, no guilt.

I have finally switched the rest of my fam over to whole-grain bread. Carrie balked but has come to terms with the fact that we aren't switching back. I miss the convenience of white rice and occasionally will have Jasmine rice in the cupboard, but 90% of the time we eat brown or wild rice. Sometimes I even cook whole wheat berries in with it. There are a few family members that would probably threaten to blow up the house if I took away their sugar (they're over 18 so I don't make an issue of it) but Jim and I really have replaced sweets with fruit. I keep the house stocked with it. It's expensive but it's worth it. I'm not spending the dough on convenience food or garbage treats so it's not much more.

I'm posting yesterday's food list. I was at a restaurant for lunch. There was no way to know exactly the calorie count of what I was eating. The sandwich was fairly easy to estimate because I knew all the ingredients. The soup was tougher so I looked up a recipe for eggplant soup on allrecipes.com, figured the points value, then doubled it just to make sure I wasn't cheating. I also was very conservative when figuring the sandwich as I want to be honest.


Morning
pb on ww bagel
3
Subtotal
3
Midday
eggplant soup sm cup
10
small ff sf froz yog/no cone
2
3/4 lowfat sandwich at restaurant
10
Subtotal
22
Evening
1 1/2 cup cooked green beans
.5
1 medium acorn squash
3
Subtotal
3.5
Snack
2 items graham cracker
1
Subtotal
1
Total Food POINTS values used
29.5
Food POINTS Balance over (-) under (+)
-7.5
Exercise
Total Activity POINTS values earned
0